Marriage is a business move

I am a love-based relationship person. Dating is an economic catch-22. I am prejudiced with my love and committed to partnering with a Black man. It feels like a lottery to be with one of my own, though. I enjoy competition, but sometimes I just watch an am entertained by the gameplay.

There's roughly a 5-10% probability that I'll marry a Black man with similar or greater income*

Hypergamy is a pie in the sky! Hypergamy is dating up, economically. It probably isn't happening if I'm committed to dating in my race. However, while seeking a long term partnership and procreation with a Black man with similar social and financial positioning as me, here's what I have to think about:

• Misogyny is rampant

• Median annual income for Black men is $42,120

• Less than 10% of Black men make over $80k/yr

• Generations of Black men are being poached by the prison industrial complex

• Singles are choosing ethical non-monogamy and opting out of marriage

• Marriage rates are trending downward since the mid 1980's

• Marriage is largely more beneficial to low income individuals

• U.S. Divorce rates are unpredictable and change with culture

• Interracial dating and marriage is trending upward since 1967

• As Black men marry non-Black women, Black women are inversely choosing singleness over marrying non-Black men.

How is a high earning pro-Black woman supposed to manage her heart under these circumstances?

Numbers-wise, I'll probably be partnered with a Black man who makes less money than I do. That's fine because building generational wealth is not a solo venture. Mindset-wise, how many of those average-earning Black men are still dangerously patriarchal?

I'll consider myself the head of household if that's what our taxes say, but men often resist my position. He may resent me, act out or lash out! So... I'm supposed to fight a patriarchal affront in my own home AND pay the bills? The trade off is real. If I stick to my guns, I could easily die alone under this current reality.

I can stomach one oppression, but not both - economic hardship and patriarchy - in my home. So many Black women are spiritually broken for the sake of partnership. I refuse to "get got" as they say, looking stupid because I lost the Black love lottery.

*Generous estimate based on income and interracial partnership data