This is coming mad late. Like 5 months later than a scheduled 2nd year doctoral program end date. I had to rewrite my qualifying exams, which took my submission date from July to October. The exams had to be evaluated by my professors on an off-cycle timeline, all in the middle of their fall teaching schedules. I am fine with a wait. Patience makes me a better Aries. So I waited, and waited. Each time my accountability partners asked about progress, I told them the real deal. I am waiting.
The wait is OVER!!!
As of December 14, I was released by the approval Gods. I passed my qualifying exams. I am able now to move forward and confer my candidacy for this doctoral degree! Then a dissertation proposal, etc, etc.
I want to celebrate, but moreso reflect. I am grateful to be moving forward. I am grateful to have produced better work in my edits with less emotional turmoil. I am giving grace to myself for how I handled communications during the rewrites. I was in the middle of a #yearofturmoil in my organization and had recently moved across the country. I slept more than usual during this process, which is still less than medically recommended. I would call resting sleep too, for which my Exec Assistant made a way *hallelujah*.
I am a badass researcher who is also a raggedy self-sabotaging academic.
I am not organized, so I spend hours getting my thoughts and resources together. I am a perfectionist in ways that are unproductive with time management. I have a guilty conscious when I send things on time because I know it could have been better. I have a guilty conscious when I submit things late because it deteriorates my self-confidence. I avoid writing accountability and took the wait as an opportunity to farther deidentify as a student. I was not writing, checking email, talking to mentors, nor even reading. I was a student as much as a pedophile is Christian.
Honestly, I didn't see the PASS email til two weeks later. It was more like a Happy New Year gift. I am connected to coaching for 2023 and will humble myself to change those Ls I keep taking. Now onto candidacy paperwork and stuff. I just wanted to share since I didn't make a vlog about it this year.
Peace.
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